My Year With Eleanor.

I have created a cycle of reading that I love.

Began with a Brentwood library card and ended with me picking up a new book the day I finish the old.

I am embarrassed to say that I went for a LONG time without reading. I definitely felt a little empty and intellectually stifled. Going from Berkeley and absurd amounts of reading to only looking at words and pictures on a computer screen became old quickly. I missed it.

My newest read was a fun one. Perfect for my trips to Peets, tuna sandwiches on my lunch breaks, and the confusing period of time that most twentysomethings find themselves in.

My Year With Eleanor.

The author, a late twentysomething that loses her job, takes a step back, and realizes that she has been going through life motions without actually doing any actual living.

Losing a job became the perfect opportunity to self reflect and build momentum to a struggling personal life and lack of internal satisfaction. Losing what seemed to be most important actually highlighted what should have come first all along. It's ironic how loss can do that.

Her intense fears (from death, to social situations, parties, karaoke, to finding another career) crippled her daily interactions and overall take on the world, her loved ones, and her ability to act courageously and spontaneously. She lost her spunk. Her pizazz. What made her unique and special.

While my fears parallel some of the authors, from being a ridiculously bad dancer to having hesitations about jumping out of a plane, I definitely couldn't relate to the depth and enormity of her trepidations. While the book reminded me that I am FAR from having fear overwhelm my life, it instead, emphasized my own insecurities and the things I would love to overcome, stare in the face, and kick into oblivion.

At the end of a stand up comedy routine the author performed amazingly well despite irrational fear, insecurity, and hesitation (she even admitted she'd sell all of her families possessions before going on stage), she wrote about the insane glow of happiness that flooded her once the bit was over. The surreal high, the intense relief, and the giddy joy of knowing that she had knocked her demon out of the ballpark.

She wished she could pack a bag, slow time down, set up camp, and live in that insane, brief moment forever.

That hit home. I want those moments and I want them to be good.

Good enough that setting up camp, hanging on tight, and not wanting to let go of that blip of time makes perfect sense.

5.6.7.8.

With a great last week coming to close, I greeted this monday completely depleted and drained.

To put today into perspective, I realized halfway through my shift at work that I had been carrying around pieces of my laundry load with me for hours.

Literally.

How I went about work for 5 hours without realizing I had extra pairs of underwear attached on the inside of my pants, I have NO idea.

And I was wearing TIGHTS.

Whoops.

Having a day like this meant one thing. Instead of my usual trip to Velocity, I made my way to my couch and passed out.

Good Call.

Workout? nope. Instead, a nap with Lucas.

To sum up this past week...

Friday I spent a few hours walking by the beach.

Saturday I tried a new instructor at Velocity. It was the perfect way to start a long day. 60 minutes of the most intense circuit class I've done to date. The instructor was great. Sweet and soothing, while focused and completely unrelentless. To say the least, I'll be back each weekend for more.

Sunday consisted of a peaceful but tough class at Maha Yoga in Brentwood. The 90 minute session (yes, 90!) found a way to intertwine muscle burning poses, an intensive ab workout, and a soothing, stretching session that almost had me asleep by savasana. The sunlight room, hardwood floors, and flowing white curtains make this space feel tranquil and special. A perfect way to spend a sunday afternoon.

like a yoga candyshop.

4.

I loved my day today. Thursday double header. Always tough. Always leaves me happy.

Since today consisted of two workouts and yesterday consisted of none... I figured a "get out of a jail free Wednesday pass" was in order. Today completely made up for it.

Began my morning early- which I am now beginning to love. I started with my favorite class at Velocity. My thursday mornings are such a good pick me up to a week that can begin to lag. The trainer, JD, completely lights up the gym and literally springs around showing me exercises that are completely difficult but he makes look ridiculously easy. I leave at 10:30am feeling accomplished and awake. It's almost as if the day CAN'T be bad once it's started on a note like this. 

Finished the day with an amazing THURSDAY NIGHT RUN CLUB at Lululemon.

I seriously love my run club. The high I get from leading and running- It's addictive.

With a group of 16 today- woo hoo!- we ran all the way down to Ocean Blvd and back. A solid 7 miles. The run was long, peaceful, and challenging. Being able to use the edge of the continent and a 180 view of the beach as a turning point to our run always reminds me of how lucky I am to have this space at my disposal. With that scenery, enthusiastic runners, and that amazing glow that seems to spread over the group after each run is finished, the day couldn't have ended on a better note.

But it did. Dinner with one of my favorite people in my life- and yes, her name is Maddie. 

Sense a trend anyone?

3.

Day 3.

What better than to try someplace completely new?

Thanks to a new and amazing friend I have in my life, Amy, I ventured down to YogaHop in Santa Monica. The vibe was awesome. It was basically like doing hard core yoga in a small house, upstairs with an intimate group, while listening to pumped up, fun music.

I was literally- drinking- my own sweat... 10 minutes in. Definitely was the only one that managed to look like a complete mess that quickly.

2.

Day 2 tidbits.

Today was solid (as Matt would say).

Began the morning with breakfast at one of my favorite places, Huckleberry. My company was good (sister), my food was incredible (toast with gruyere, arugula, fried eggs, and bacon), and the man I practically bumped in to while waiting in line to order was pretty unforgettable (Harry Goldenblatt from Sex and the City.)

YES.

To say the least, Clare and I were excited.

Even more so when we, umm.. accidentally... bumped into him AGAIN in the parking lot on the way out.

This fun celeb sighting reminds me of the absurd one I had yesterday on my run.

While Clare and I were running down San Vicente, I practically stopped dead in my tracks at a familiar voice coming from a sidewalk eatery as were zooming past.

I need to put this all in perspective- because it was just too perfectly ridiculous.

None other is Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Govenator himself, looking like the hulk and sitting outside eating his lunch... while a giant, gawky "Star Tours" bus drives by, packed with tourists, who are paying more attention to Clare and I (hopefully thinking we are cool people) and completely missing the only somewhat famous thing they are probably going to see in their entire 6 hour bus ride.

Whoops.

Sad for them. Hilarious for us.

Celeb sightings aside, I was proud of myself for getting a sweat in twice today. First consisted of a 4 mile walk with Lucas, who practically peed on every single thing in sight and had to have a chicken bone pried out of his mouth...typical.

Second was a tough class at my favorite gym, Velocity. I was pouring sweat and exhausted after multiple sets of pushups, sprints, crab walks, and bear crawls that lasted forever.. they always leave my hands completely messed up after our session is over. They look absurd for days- my healing time is oddly slow. Despite tomato hands, I always love going.

Sister run.

With the temperatures up, my fun run today with Clare was interesting.

We started slow and finished strong. Getting my blood pumping, some grimy sweat out of my pores, and feeling that salty tingle on my sun flushed skin completely turned my mood around.

Consistent reminder of why a daily sweat puts me in a better place.

What better motivation then to start another challenge? 20 days of sweating?


Here I come.

Back for More.

Two months?

My blog hiatus needs to come to an end.

Something about blogging became like homework. Instead of pushing myself to keep it going, I decided to listen to myself and let it go. It wasn't a college paper. Why the pressure? It was for fun.

But, over the last two months, I found myself missing the simple pleasures of delving a tiny bit deeper into the things I was doing. Taking pictures, actively writing down thoughts, finding artsy ways to document daily activities... Turns out, blogging was not just a new hobby, but an outlet.


And here I am.

Heavier than I was two months ago, feeling physically strong, mentally- a little worn out-, and on a roller coaster of life change.

Instead of catching up, I'll just keep it going.



PS: getting surprise comments from all of YOU was what I missed the most.